Wedding season seems to have transitioned to being year-round. With each season, aspects of these events slightly shift, but there are many wedding rules for guests that remain timeless.
There are rules for how wedding guests should dress, how they should act, and even how they should RSVP. But, don't fret: Alexandra's Boutique is here to let you in on the secrets of wedding guest etiquette.
Handwritten notes are always in style
If you are a guest, the bride and groom have likely made it easy for you. Use the provided RSVP card to reply to your host as promptly as possible. Make sure to fill out this information accurately and don’t try to later alter this response. If the couple didn't provide a response card, reply on your own stationery. If you are looking for more direction, reference this guide to save the dates.
If they request you reply electronically through their wedding website, be sure to also do this in a timely manner. And while you're there, explore their site to learn more about the couple's story and wedding details. Here, you'll likely find local and out-of-town wedding guests’ gift expectations as well as the opportunity to browse their registry to pick out a meaningful or useful gift for them.
As the newlyweds, use stationary with your new names or monograms to thank your guests for their gifts and presence at your wedding. Though it may seem overwhelming at first, writing these notes by hand makes an immense difference. These guests may have put in a great deal of effort and money to attend your wedding and purchase you a thoughtful gift. Take this opportunity to share with them how special and valued they are in your life.
It's also important that these notes are made as personal as possible. The bride should write to those guests with whom have the closest relationship. The groom should then write to the attendees which they know more intimately so that these notes remain genuine and unique.
The secret to the dress code
At a wedding, one rule remains consistent: don't wear white. This remains one of the strictest rules for wedding guests as it shows respect for the bride. In this case, it is always best to err on the side of caution—even if your favorite ivory dress has a pattern on it, it isn't worth pushing the limit and offending the bride or other guests.
Beyond this, dress to the code given on the invite. This can range from black tie to casual with so much in between. When considering your interpretation of the given dress code, seasonality and ceremony time are also factors. Summer wedding attire differs drastically from winter garb. If the ceremony occurs in the early evening (4 p.m. or 5 p.m.), wear an outfit that easily transitions from day to night. On the other hand, if the ceremony takes place later in the evening, the attire is likely to be more formal–think cocktail.
If you find that you're still confused about the wedding guest dress rules after referring back to your invitation, seek advice from friends. Remember that it's best to arrive a bit overdressed than to look overly casual. It's best to always have a few elegant evening dress options on hand so that you're never caught convincing yourself that a more casual dress will do.
Tune into your most tasteful behavior
It's time to consider avoiding the absent-minded faux pas that often occur at weddings. Get to the ceremony at least 15 minutes early and abstain from sitting in the front row as it is reserved for close family members. If you are late due to an unforeseen circumstance, remain in the back of the venue until the bride has walked down the aisle and the ceremony has begun.
At the reception, refrain from doing anything that draws attention to yourself or your date. This is so important: the day's focus should be strictly on the newlyweds. Don't get drunk, don't propose to your significant other, and don't give a self-indulgent speech even if you're close to the couple or the maid of honor. (Better yet, read the guide to maid of honor duties to be fully briefed.) Take our advice here—your post-wedding self will thank you.
Plus-one basics
Couples' expectations for wedding guests may waiver, one rule rings timelessly true as a wedding attendee: never ask for a plus one. By making this request, you are essentially asking the couple to pay for an additional person that wasn’t originally included in their initial budget.
As the future happy couple, consider working into your budget the luxury of allowing every guest to have a plus one. Though this may take intricate planning, it could be a beneficial decision. The importance of a plus one is often overlooked and under-analyzed. As a host, it should be important that your loved ones have a pleasant time at your wedding–this often comes in the form of being around at least one person they know well. If you find that this situation isn’t favorable to you, consider at least allowing your wedding party to each bring a plus one.
Visit Alexandra's Boutique
Alexandra's Boutique knows the 411 about all things wedding. Whether you're counting down the days to your big day or prepping to celebrate a friend, we are here to talk you through the steps and secrets so that you end up looking and embodying your most true and lovely self on the day of the event. Schedule an appointment with our team of specialists today to shop wedding gowns and guest dresses.