Someone close to you is getting married, and she asked you to be her maid of honor — congratulations! Since you’re now a special part of your friend or family member’s wedding, you likely have plenty of questions on your mind. Like many others, you’re probably wondering — how can I be the best maid of honor? If you’re not familiar with the role, you’re likely also wondering what the role of maid of honor is and what you have to do.
Being a maid of honor comes with many responsibilities, but don’t panic. Learn what you can do to be the best maid of honor with the guide below.
What Is the Significance of Being a Maid of Honor?
The maid of honor supports the bride before, during and even after the wedding. She’s a close friend or relative of the bride. If your friend or family member asked you to be her bridesmaid, it’s a significant compliment. It means she trusts you to give her the emotional support and help she needs to prepare for her special day.
Being a maid of honor is a big and exciting responsibility. You’ll help your friend or loved one on the journey to her wedding, through all the ups and downs. You’ll tackle the stresses and ensure the bride-to-be focuses on one thing — enjoying her wedding day.
What Do Maids of Honor Do?
So having this role is important, but what does a maid of honor do? Being a maid of honor, or a matron of honor if you’re married, is more than a title. You have a lot to do when it comes to various aspects of the wedding, and you may have to:
- Help plan the wedding.
- Plan celebrations before the wedding.
- Organize the bridesmaids.
- Keep the bride-to-be calm.
- Assist the wedding guests.
Every maid of honor has different roles she takes on, which depends on what the bride-to-be needs. Your roles could change based on how many bridesmaids your loved one has and if they lend a hand. In general, the maid of honor will take on the biggest share of responsibility.
Maid of Honor Tips
Don’t get overwhelmed with what you have to do as a maid of honor. Instead, follow these maid of honor tips to be as helpful as possible:
- Communicate with the bride: To understand your maid of honor responsibilities, ask what your loved one wants assistance with. Communication makes your responsibilities clear and keeps you and the bride-to-be from completing the same tasks.
- Communicate with the bridesmaids: As the maid of honor, you’ll need to organize the bridesmaids. That responsibility involves communicating about a variety of topics. One thing you’ll want to discuss is everyone’s budgets, especially if you’re planning a bachelorette party or bridal shower. Introduce all the bridesmaids to each other, as well, via email or in-person.
- Set your budget: With so much to plan and do, you’ll want a budget for yourself in mind. Use the bridesmaids’ budgets to decide how much you can spend on parties and more.
- Know what the bride-to-be wants: Odds are, you’re the bride-to-be’s best friend, sister or close family member. Use that relationship to your advantage when it comes to fulfilling your maid of honor duties.
- Don’t do too much: While the bride-to-be appreciates the assistance she gets, it’s important to remember that it’s still her wedding day. You don’t want to overstep or do too much, especially if your loved one doesn’t ask you to. You know what your friend or family member needs, so you’ll know where to draw the line.
- Don’t do too little: Of course, you need to strike a delicate balance. Even if your loved one insists she’ll do everything on her own, there are still responsibilities you have as the maid of honor. Suggest ways you can help if your friend or family member is trying to take on the to-do list on her own.
- Be trustworthy: Your friend or loved one picked you for a reason, so prove that you’re the right choice by being trustworthy. Show up on time to appointments and lend a hand whenever you can.
- Stay organized: Keeping track of what you have to do and what you’ve already done helps make you the best maid of honor. Make to-do lists and share digital calendars with the bridesmaids and the bride-to-be. Follow a wedding planning timeline or the bride-to-be’s plans to keep yourself on track, and make your own maid of honor duties timeline.
Maid of Honor Responsibilities Before the Wedding
The months leading up to your friend or family member’s wedding will be hectic. There’s a whole wedding timeline to navigate, but you’ll make the journey easier by accepting your maid of honor duties. So what are your maid of honor duties before the wedding? That’ll depend on the wedding and the bride-to-be’s needs. Along with attending engagement parties and the rehearsal, here are common maid of honor responsibilities before the wedding:
1. Help With the Planning Process
Every wedding is unique, but one thing is constant — the bride-to-be could use some help planning. Offer to pitch in any way you can. Remember, it’s your loved one’s special day, so don’t make all the decisions for her. You can help with:
- Researching venues and vendors.
- Choosing a color scheme or theme.
- Putting together a guest list.
- Ordering and sending invitations.
- Helping with DIY projects for the wedding.
If the bride-to-be already has a clear idea of her wedding theme, offer assistance in different ways. Running errands and researching vendors will be useful favors. Matron of honor duties could include making recommendations based on your wedding experiences.
2. Attend the Bride’s Dress Appointment
The bride-to-be will likely schedule her wedding dress appointment at least six months before her wedding. She may invite her bridesmaids and close family members, and she’ll definitely want her maid of honor’s opinions. Go with the bride-to-be to offer suggestions and support during this exciting experience, and bring tissues for the happy tears to come.
3. Lead the Bridal Party
In many ways, the maid of honor is the head bridesmaid. For that reason, your maid of honor duties include guiding the other bridesmaids. That’ll vary for each bride and unique celebration, so ask the bride-to-be how you can lead the bridal party. She’ll likely ask you to:
- Communicate wedding information to the bridesmaids, like important dates.
- Make sure the bridesmaids order their dresses and accessories on time.
- Organize the bridesmaids’ hair and makeup appointments for the wedding day.
- Coordinate the bridesmaids’ travel or accommodations for the wedding day and pre-wedding parties.
4. Plan a Bridal Shower
A bridal shower unites friends and family members who are invited to the wedding to celebrate a couple of months or weeks before the big day. Guests bring gifts, often money, to help fund the wedding celebration. As a larger gathering, a bridal shower will take a bit of planning, and that’s usually where the maid of honor comes in.
Planning a bridal shower will be a bit easier thanks to the existing guest list for the bride-to-be’s wedding. Of course, you’ll have to decide whether the celebration is a surprise or planned with the bride-to-be. That’ll depend on your friend or family member’s preference, but if she chose you to be her maid of honor, she trusts your decision-making skills.
Whether the pre-wedding celebrations are a surprise or not, you’ll need to know when to plan them. Ask the bride-to-be for available dates. You should also ask the bridesmaids and close family members who the bride-to-be will want to attend. Do this for the bridal shower, bachelorette party and any other celebrations you plan.
5. Plan a Bachelorette Party
Getting married is worth celebrating, which is why brides-to-be often have a bridal shower and a bachelorette party before the ceremony. What you do for a bachelorette party will depend on your friend or family member’s preferences. It’s often a celebration with a smaller group of friends or just the bridal party. You can go out and celebrate with drinks and have a wild night of fun before your bride gets married. Plan a bachelorette party within a few weeks to two months before your loved one’s wedding.
6. Answer Guests’ Questions
As the wedding day draws closer, guests will likely have plenty of questions to ask. Free up the bride’s time by fielding those questions. Most couples use their own wedding sites to give guests important information or answer questions. But some guests may not be so tech-savvy.
Suggest to the bride-to-be that she direct questions to you and have her give your phone number or email to guests with questions. Offer to answer questions on the couple’s wedding website, as well. Just ensure that you know how the site works and you know enough about the wedding plans to answer questions.
Maid of Honor Responsibilities on the Wedding Day
The wedding day will be full of nerves and excitement for the bride-to-be. She’ll want her maid of honor by her side for handling any last-minute concerns. Stay organized, remain calm and prepare yourself by knowing these maid of honor responsibilities for the wedding day:
1. Get Ready With the Bride and the Bridesmaids
Put on your beautiful bridesmaid gowns and help the bride get into her dress. You may have hair and makeup appointments to attend, or you may have someone on-site to get all of you prepared. This is a time to relax with friends and family and make sure everything is perfect for the bride. Get ready quickly to fulfill any maid of honor duties and be a part of pre-wedding photo shoots.
2. Bring a Wedding Day Emergency Kit
To be the best maid of honor, you should come prepared. Little mishaps could happen on the wedding day, and you don’t want them to contribute to the bride’s stress. Pack and bring an emergency kit with items like:
- Safety pins
- Fashion tape
- Bobby pins
- Hairspray
- Makeup for touch-ups
- Bandages
- Pain relievers
- Extra phone chargers
- A small sewing kit
- Stain remover pens
- Scissors
- Tape
Prepare for a variety of emergencies, from hair and makeup mishaps to wardrobe problems. Include vendors’ numbers in the kit or on your phone in case you have to contact a vendor with last-minute questions or issues.
3. Keep the Bride Calm
Packing an emergency kit can help keep the bride calm in case any emergencies arise. But even when everything goes according to plan, your loved one is bound to feel nervous. Keep her calm and relaxed throughout every stage of the getting ready process. Field questions from guests, bridesmaids or family members so they don’t disturb the bride.
In attending to the bride’s nerves, you should help her with any needs that arise. Make sure she eats and drinks before the ceremony and during the reception. Check in with her before the ceremony and during the reception to see if she needs assistance with anything. You can also be the go-between for the bride and her spouse-to-be if they don’t want to see each other before the ceremony.
4. Help the Bride at the Altar
For the wedding ceremony, you’ll stand closest to the bride as she says her vows. You have a few more things to do to as the maid of honor during the ceremony:
- Adjust the bride’s train, veil and gown, especially after she has moved.
- Hold your bouquet and the bride’s bouquet for the ceremony.
- Hold the groom’s ring if there’s no ring bearer.
- Bring tissues in case the bride — or anyone else — needs them during the ceremony.
5. Sign the Marriage License
The newlyweds will likely have the maid of honor and the best man sign the marriage license as witnesses. This task is simple enough, but it’s an essential step. Couples often sign the certificate after the ceremony, so be sure to make yourself available or coordinate when you need to be around to sign.
6. Give a Toast
At the reception, the maid of honor and best man often give speeches. This is your opportunity to talk about the newlyweds. Be sure to reference how long you’ve known the bride and how special her relationship with her spouse is. You can even tell an anecdote from the bride’s past.
While the toast is given on the wedding day, you should incorporate preparing your maid of honor speech into your pre-wedding responsibilities. Start writing it or brainstorming ideas soon after the bride asks you to be her maid of honor. Practice the speech often to help get rid of any nerves when it’s time to speak at the reception.
Find the Perfect Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids Dresses at Alexandra’s Boutique
As New England’s largest bridal salon, Alexandra’s Boutique carries a wide array of stunning bridesmaids dresses. Whether the bride-to-be wants her bridesmaids in the same color or same style dress, she’ll find the options to complete her dream wedding with us. We carry a beautiful selection of bridesmaids dresses, including lines by Bari Jay, Morilee, Sorella Vita, Watters and others, to suit any bride’s preferences.
Browse our bridesmaid dresses online today and schedule your appointment with us.