Congratulations — you’re engaged! When planning a wedding, one of the first things you need to do is to pick a date — When you share your engagement news with friends and family, it’s one of the first things they’ll ask about. But for many couples, choosing a date is no easy feat, and can be quite a complicated issue that goes beyond the dates and seasons you may prefer. A lot of factors go into this decision, and there are probably many things you’ll want to consider before finalizing your wedding date.
For every couple, the process and the decision may be a little different, but no matter what type of wedding you’ll have or how long you’ll be engaged, every couple must choose a wedding date. We suggest starting with your top priorities — family members you want present or particular venues or vendors that are must-haves. Find out their availability and go from there. In addition, we’ve compiled some other things to consider for choosing a wedding date.
How Long Should an Engagement Be?
Some couples know exactly when they want their wedding to be and how long they want to be engaged, and others don’t know where to start. So, how long should you be engaged?
In short, there is no wrong answer here, and it will differ according to personal preferences. One study found the average engagement lasts around 14 months, but it may be shorter or longer, depending on your individual circumstances.
Some couples wish to be married right away and are able to pull off all the wedding planning rather quickly, but for others, the planning process can take months, or they may simply prefer a longer engagement. Giving yourselves a year for planning is generally a good estimate for most weddings, but you should do what makes you most comfortable.
Tips for How to Choose a Wedding Date
Budgeting Concerns
One of the biggest issues that can affect all other aspects of wedding planning is the budget. Consider just how much you’d like to spend in total on your wedding, and the costs of the wedding venue and vendors you’d like. If you need time to save up for the budget you want, this can affect the timing of your wedding.
The time of year and day of the week you get married can result in a vastly different budget, even with the same vendors. The most popular wedding day, Saturday, is generally the most expensive, as well as weddings in the months of June, September and October. Weigh your options against your budget and decide what your priorities are. It’s possible to save a lot of money if you plan your wedding for a less-popular day or time of year.
Check in With Your VIPs
Ask close family members, especially parents or anyone else who you really want in attendance, about any upcoming important dates. This is especially important with shorter engagements. You don’t want to plan a wedding, only to find out that your parents already booked a vacation during that time. Once you’ve narrowed down your choices for wedding dates, ask close family and friends to save the date until you confirm the actual date.
All this being said, it’s very unlikely you’ll be able to please everyone’s schedule and get 100% attendance from your invitees. Other things can crop up while you’re planning your wedding, so don’t get upset if the date doesn’t work for someone on your list. Only involve your VIPs in the planning process, not the whole guest list, and once you pick a date, stick with it. You don’t need to change your date or ask for advice once the date is set.
Significant Dates
Many couples like the idea of getting married on a date that’s special to them — such as the day they met or the day of their first date. Other ideas include the couples’ birthdays, the anniversaries of respected family members, valentine’s day or a favorite moment in history. Bear in mind that the wedding date you pick will be your anniversary, so choose a day that you’d like to celebrate for years to come.
Also, look at the calendar to see what days of the week these special dates fall on, and decide if that fits in with your priorities. Sometimes waiting a year could put your special date on a more desirable day of the week too, so keep that in mind.
Holidays and holiday weekends come with both positive and negative aspects. On the one hand, your family may already be gathering for the holiday, and there may be additional days off of work for most people. However, many holidays are also popular travel times, so hotels, travel costs and some vendors could be more expensive.
It also may be more difficult for other guests to commit on a holiday if they have traditions and other plans. There are some dates that couples would like to avoid, such as Halloween or Friday the 13th — however, others may enjoy and embrace these ideas. You should also be aware of major events, like sporting events or large festivals and conventions in town that could make hotels, venues and vendors busier and more expensive.
Think About the Seasons
Everyone has a favorite season, and this can be a great starting point for wedding planning. The season can affect everything from the weather and venues available to the decor, colors and food and drink menus at your wedding.
Consider if you’d like your wedding to be in your favorite season or if other factors like holidays, busier work seasons or time off from work might affect the season you should choose for your wedding. The seasonal factors may be different depending on where you live. And if you choose a destination wedding, be sure the climate is what you expect for the time of year you want your wedding.
Spring Wedding Considerations
The spring is ideal for garden weddings with soft, pastel colors like light pinks, purples, yellows and greens. Daisies, daffodils, tulips and peonies are usually in season, as well as lots of other gorgeous choices. Fresh salads, fruity cakes and drinks like white wine and cocktails garnished with fresh flowers are perfect for spring weddings.
The weather can be unpredictable in spring for most areas of the country, so be sure to have a backup plan for outdoor ceremonies and receptions.
Summer Wedding Considerations
In the summer, the warm sunshine, beaches and growing gardens are perfect influences for weddings. Outdoor wedding plans generally work well in the summer months, especially in locations overlooking the water. Tropical, nautical and garden themes all work well, and brighter colors including green, pink, purple, yellow and blue, are appropriate.
Hydrangeas, dahlias, orchids and more are in season, and large leafy tropicals can add to the summery vibe. For food menus, think BBQ or grilled foods, fresh fruits and tropical-inspired cocktails. Treat guests to refreshing desserts like ice cream or shaved ice. Consider the heat when planning your formal attire too, so you and your wedding party stay comfortable.
Autumn Wedding Considerations
As the weather turns cooler in the fall, the weather can again be a little unpredictable, so take care with any outdoor plans. The colors of the changing leaves and the harvest foods of the season can inspire and inform autumn weddings. Reds, oranges, golden yellows and muted greens are popular colors and menus can include warming soups and stews, squashes and root vegetables.
Pumpkin pies, apple pies, s’mores, apple cider and mulled wine are seasonal favorites for desserts and drinks. Plan for comfort in any weather for the wedding party — think formal dresses with optional sweaters or shawls for bridesmaids. Early fall is quickly becoming one of the most popular times for weddings, so keep this in mind for vendors and potential costs.
Winter Wedding Considerations
While winter may be one of the least popular choices for weddings, it can be a lovely setting for an opulent wedding — and for a lower cost. Think freshly fallen snow, ski chalets, holiday lights and candlelit dinners. Rich colors like eggplant, dark reds, blues and greens, as well as black, silver and gold create a classy tone for winter weddings.
Classic, warming foods like soups, pasta, root vegetables, winter squashes and comfort foods work well, and for dessert, try dark, rich classics like chocolate or red velvet cakes or cookie assortments. Roses, calla lilies and wintry pine boughs make for gorgeous decor, as well as lots of candles or twinkling lights. Cranberry-inspired cocktails, red wine and hot toddies are all perfect for winter weddings. Although the snow can make for a beautiful backdrop, consider how inclement weather could throw a wrench in guests’ travel plans.
Timing of Your Honeymoon
If you plan on taking a honeymoon, think about the timing of your desired travel plans and if this might affect your wedding date. Some couples opt for a later honeymoon, so it may not be a concern, but if you plan on a more traditional honeymoon right after the ceremony, consider where and what time of the year you want to travel.
For example, with a summer wedding, you may not want to leave immediately for an even hotter tropical destination. Think about the climate and weather at your destination, as well as popular travel times when you make your plans. If you’re set on a particular location at a certain time of year, plan your wedding around your ideal honeymoon plans.
Venues and Vendors
If you and your partner are really set on a particular wedding venue, or a certain vendor — including wedding planners, caterers, photographers and more — it may be a good idea to not set your date in stone until you check in with your preferred vendors.
Especially if the venue or vendor is popular, they may fill up their calendar well in advance, so you’ll want to know if your chosen date is available. If your date is still a little flexible, you’re more likely to score the location and extra details you truly want. There are always other choices available, but if you are really counting on a particular vendor, check in with them first before finalizing the date.
Work Considerations
You may want to think about time off of work to cover your wedding and honeymoon, and possibly at least a few days beforehand to take care of last-minute planning activities. Consider how much time off you are allowed at work and if you may need extra time to bank some available vacation days.
Additionally, think about the busy times for your industry — as well as your partner’s — and determine if that could affect your choice of wedding dates. For example, teachers usually have more time available in the summer, accountants are busiest during the late winter and early spring, and retail workers may not be able to take time off around the winter holidays.
Traditions and Religious Dates
Every culture and religion has their own set of traditions, holidays and beliefs that could potentially affect how to choose a wedding date. Consider having a conversation with your partner and both of your families about religious and cultural traditions.
Even if you and your partner don’t align with any particular religion or the same traditions, you may want to consult with family members on this. For many cultures, certain dates may be considered lucky or unlucky. Or there may be holidays you want to avoid because a majority of your guests will already be occupied.
Weigh Your Priorities
There are so many ways to go about choosing a wedding date, and it can be overwhelming knowing where to start. Talk with your fianc about your priorities for the wedding plans, as this can help you know how to begin the process. It may help to write down some lists of priorities for the wedding and rank them in order of importance.
Knowing whether it’s more important to have a wedding in your favorite season, book your favorite venue, get more bang for your budget or something else, can inform your choice. Start with what’s most important to you, and then take into consideration other factors before making your final decision.
Find Your Dream Dress at Alexandra’s Bridal Boutique
If you already have an idea of your perfect wedding dress, this can affect the dates you should choose for a wedding. The style of your dress may be ideally suited for a particular season, so keep this in mind too.
If you’ve just chosen your date, and are ready for dress shopping, make an appointment with Alexandra’s Bridal Boutique and get ready to find your dream wedding gown. We offer full-service appointments for you and your bridal party, and our consultants are trained to help you find the right dress for your special day. You’ll get personalized attention as you select the perfect dress.
We fit the dress to your figure and help you find all the right accessories to match, too. Whatever your season or wedding date, you’ll find the right dress at Alexandra’s Bridal Boutique.