Just as important as your wedding dress or flowers are the invitations you choose to invite your guests to your wedding. Your invitation suite, comprised of save-the-date cards, invitations, RSVP, menu and reception cards, envelopes and other inserts, is yet another extension of your wedding theme and vision. No longer the plain white or ivory cardstock invitations of years past, today’s wedding invitations are available in many different styles and colors. Not only do the wedding invitations convey the theme of your wedding and look beautiful, but they also contain all the vital information your guests need to know about your special day. This handy guide is meant to provide you with everything you need to know when planning, wording and sending your wedding invitations.
Wedding Invitation Etiquette
For many engaged couples, the subject of wedding invitation etiquette can be a little intimidating. Maintaining proper mailing and RSVP timelines and tactfully including wedding registry and dress code information can be a little tricky for even the most organized couples. These etiquette guidelines will help keep you on schedule and ensure that you’re providing your guests with the important information they need.
Save-the-date cards should be sent out as soon as possible, ideally six months before the wedding, especially if you have guests who will be traveling from out of town. If most of your guests are local, then at least four months, but preferably six months, is acceptable. Wedding invitations are typically sent out between six to eight weeks before the wedding. For destination weddings, it’s customary to send save-the-dates out at least a year in advance, and the wedding invitation at least two to three months before, to give guests time to make adequate travel, work and childcare arrangements.
Your ideal RSVP deadline is about three weeks before the wedding. While many guests reply shortly after receiving their invitation, many do not. The three-week timeframe allows time for replies to filter in and procrastinating guests to be contacted. Accurate guest information is essential when creating seating charts and escort cards and communicating with your venue. It is estimated that 85 percent of your local guests will most likely attend, while the attendance rate for out-of-town guests is about 55 percent.
Though most engaged couples have one or more wedding registries to help gather the things needed for their new life together, registry information shouldn’t be included on your save-the-dates or wedding invitations, as this makes your guests feel as if you’re requiring gifts. A more subtle way to include wedding registry information is to include the link to your wedding website on your save-the-dates, and include your registry links there. Some couples choose to add a card with their wedding website link in their wedding invitation.
Though it’s not mandatory to include the style of dress code for your wedding, including this information is always helpful to your guests. Without a stated dress code, guests are free to wear whatever they’d like. Dress code information, whether it be black-tie, formal, semiformal or other, can be included in the bottom right-hand corner of your invitation or reception card. Ideas for conveying your dress code to guests are included in the “Wedding Invitation Wording” section below.
Wedding Invitation Ideas
When it comes to your wedding invitation suite, the design possibilities are almost endless. Today’s wedding invitation trends feature fun and unique elements reflecting the personality of the engaged couple. You can even get customized postage stamps to match your theme or invitations. Before purchasing your wedding invitation suite, there are a few things to know, such as what types of inserts to include, how to correctly assemble your invitations and determining and budgeting for postage costs.
While some brides choose to buy and print their own invitations, many enlist the help of professional stationers who specialize in wedding stationery. In 2016, U.S. couples spent an average of $445 on their invitation suite and postage. There are also many online print companies who offer digital downloads or who will design and print your invitations and send them right to your door. Before purchasing your invitations, there are several important pieces of information to obtain from your stationery designer or website:
- Check to see that their available styles match your vision and that they can provide the look you are going for.
- Ask if there are any coordinating personalized items such as napkins, place cards, favor tags, etc.
- Request pricing information and find out whether it’s more cost effective to purchase your entire stationery suite at the same time.
- Ask about the level of customization that is available including wording, design and colors.
- If relevant, ask about calligraphy services or if they can recommend a calligrapher.
- Find out if a proof will be provided and what happens if there are any printing or design errors.
- Double check that your invitations will arrive within your sending and RSVP timeframe.
Allow enough time for your invitations to be assembled and addressed. Most stationers and wedding planners will complete this task for you, but if you’re undertaking it on your own, or enlisting the help of your family or friends, here are some basic guidelines:
- The wedding invitation is placed on the bottom text side up, with your inserts stacked on top in order from largest to smallest. This means your smallest insert will be on top of the stack.
- Your RSVP card should be tucked underneath the flap of its stamped return envelope.
- The entire stack is placed text side up into the inner envelope so guests can easily read the invitation.
- If including inner envelopes, they should remain unsealed with the guests’ names facing outward when placed in the outer envelope.
Depending on the type and size of wedding you’re having, in addition to the main wedding invitation, your invitation suite may include some or all of the following inserts:
- RSVP card with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
- Reception card if ceremony and reception are in different locations.
- Direction card.
- Additional inserts, such as wedding website links, lodging information and details about pre-or post-wedding activities. Keep in mind these additions will add to the total weight and bulk of your assembled invitation.
The amount of postage needed to mail both your save-the-date cards and wedding invitations varies according to a variety of factors such as parcel shape, size and weight. To get an accurate postage price, weigh a fully assembled envelope on a postal scale or bring it to your local post office. Keep in mind that there is an additional surcharge for envelopes that are square, have fancy closures or don’t easily bend, as these have to be hand sorted, rather than run through post office machines.
The postal budget for mailing wedding-related correspondence is one that is extremely important yet often overlooked by many engaged couples. Having to resend invitations that are returned for insufficient postage will create more work, expense and stress to your wedding planning process.
If you’re unsure about whether or not to include inner envelopes with your invitations, here’s some basic information about them. Inner envelopes protect your invitation suite during the mailing process and keep everything together, neat and clean. While not a necessity, the inclusion of inner envelopes is a traditional practice, especially for more formal invitations. The inner envelopes also clearly illustrate the names of invited guests, and can further serve to clarify whether or not plus-ones or children are included. It is correct etiquette and an elegant touch for both inner and outer envelopes to be hand-written.
Today’s wedding invitation styles are as unique as the couples who purchase them. There are more ways than ever to incorporate your wedding theme into your stationery. From simple colors and beautiful metallic embellishments to intricately detailed laser cutting and special paper, you’re sure to find an invitation suite that is personalized to you and your future spouse and conveys to guests the grand time that they will have at your wedding.
Unique wedding invitation trends include:
- Geometric inserts in the shape of triangles, hexagons and other unique shapes.
- Envelope linings with destination related illustrations.
- Intricate and delicate laser-cut paper designs.
- Alternatives to paper, including wood and cloth.
- Invitations printed on vintage handkerchiefs.
- Love timelines listing the couple’s key dates and events.
Wedding Invitation Wording
Just as every couple has a different love story, the wording you include on your invitations will vary too and is another way to incorporate your unique relationship and wedding theme. Some couples include special verses or song lyrics on their invitations, while others prefer to just include the basic information. The wedding invitation itself should be fairly short and include the essential information, and any other information can be included in additional inserts.Whether you opt for traditional wording or choose to make it fun and quirky, your invitation should always include these basic elements:
- Your request for the guests to attend the wedding – “pleasure of your company,” “invite you to celebrate.”
- The name of the host(s) – If you’re not hosting your own wedding, it’s customary to include the names of those individuals that are hosting the wedding or contributing financially. Including both the bride’s and groom’s parents on the invitation is a courtesy regardless of who is paying.
- Who is getting married – The full names of you and your future spouse.
- The date and time of the wedding.
- Where the wedding is taking place – Name of venue and complete address.
- Reception information.
- Stamped RSVP card.
- Dress code information.
Perhaps the single most important piece of information for your guests is the date and time of your wedding. For formal weddings, the date is written out in full – “Saturday, the fifth of November, two thousand and sixteen”— and the time is written as “four o’clock in the evening” or “half after five o’clock.” The year may be omitted if the wedding will be held in the next upcoming occurrence of that date. For casual and less formal weddings, it’s perfectly acceptable to use numerals for the date and time.
Informing guests that you won’t be including plus-ones or children at your wedding can be tricky. To avoid confusion and subsequent hurt feelings, it’s essential to clearly convey this to your guests. Ways to tactfully convey this information include stating on both the outer and inner envelopes the exact names of invited guests. Writing in the names of invited guests on your RSVP cards before sending is another way that you can prevent guests from writing in additional names. Despite these methods, you may still get guests who will add additional names. In those cases, it’s best to reach out to your guests and politely explain that your budget and venue are not able to accommodate extra guests.
On the envelope:
- When including children, clearly list each child’s name under the parent’s names, in their own separate line.
- When including a plus-one, include “and Guest” after the invited guest’s name.
When addressing your envelopes, the following guidelines will help you to ensure that you’re keeping with the proper etiquette:
When writing names:
- Write out full names instead of nicknames.
- For married couples with the same last name, titles followed by the man’s full name – Mr. and Mrs. John Jones.
- For an unmarried couple, it doesn’t matter whose name goes first. List each name with the proper title on separate lines – Ms. Jennifer Jones [Line Break] Mr. Bob Smith.
- Wedding Wire has a helpful envelope addressing etiquette article with specific examples such as addressing invitations to widowed and divorced guests and including the proper professional titles, prefixes and suffixes.
When writing addresses:
- Spell out the names of numeric streets – for example, Fifty-Second Street, instead of 52nd Street.
- Spell out single-digit street numbers – nine instead of 9 – and use numerals for numbers higher than 10.
Don’t abbreviate:
- State names
- Street, Road, Avenue, etc.
- North, South East or West
- Suffixes Junior and Senior
While dress codes for weddings used to be comprised of only a few, from black tie to casual, today there are many more. Deciding on a dress code for your wedding and listing it on your wedding invitations helps guests determine what kind of wedding you will be having and also what to wear.
Here are some examples of dress code wording for your invitations along with the corresponding attire for each:
- White tie – Ultra-formal attire. Tuxedo with tails, white vest and bow tie for men and formal full-length gowns for women.
- Black tie – Usually evening affair. Black tuxedo, cummerbund and bow tie for men and full-length or cocktail dresses for women.
- Black tie optional or formal – Tuxedo or black suit for men and long evening dress, cocktail-length dress or dressy suit for women.
- Cocktail attire – Seasonally appropriate suit and tie for men and a cocktail dress or dressy jumpsuit or suit for women.
- Beach formal – Elegant beach affair. Linen suit, shirt and pants or khakis, with sandals and no tie for men and formal sundress with flat sandals for women.
- Semiformal or dressy casual – A suit and tie for men and a cocktail dress or dressy skirt and top for women.
- Casual or daytime – This does not mean jeans. Button-down shirt and dress pants for men and sundress or dressy skirt/pants with a nice top for women.
Putting the Final Details in Place
Now that you have taken care of your wedding invitations, it’s time to start thinking about another essential detail of your wedding: your dress. At Alexandra’s Boutique, we offer full-service appointments in a relaxed atmosphere to help you find the perfect dress. Browse our large selection of wedding dresses, featuring collections by Maggie Sottero, Stella York and other couture designers, as well as plus-size collections including Allure Bridal and Essense of Australia. Schedule an appointment today with one of our Master Bridal Consultants and let us help you find the dress of your dreams.